I have been on a journey of spiritual awakening. Combining spirituality, my sexuality has evolved and expanded to a space of Sexual and Spiritual Healing; Sacred Healing. I have had to learn how to harness such potent energy, it is healing energy after all. As I have learnt how to heal myself, it has given me a deeper insight into the human condition. I travelled the deepest darkest depths of my own human condition (egohead). I pushed so hard until I fractured every fiber of the constructed self I had manufactured. Literally my entire egoic mind, mental conditioning, programming and learnt behaviours.

“In healing yourself you become a healer of others; you are healing the planet. Know that there is no more sacred work than this.” Anon

I had some major breakthroughs coming to terms with my darkness, learning to love even my shadow ceasing a lifelong internal battle. What I learnt is we all just want to be accepted, we all just want to be loved, we all just want to be enough. Yet we are all conditioned to believe we are not, and therefore compelled to compete or create the illusion of power for ourselves to be worth enough to be somebody of value. Any mask but our true identity. I learnt there are no victims here (ouch), that we literally manifest everything into our own existence as a gift from our higherself for our personal and precious spiritual awakening, healing karmic wounds, completing karmic agreements and fulfilling our life purpose. I learnt that learning to accept accountability for our lives entirely and shifting from victimhood creates shifts in mindset that truly transform our lives from the inside out. It sets us free from our lifetimes of accumulated trauma. We find our light through confronting and coming to terms with our dark, not by being consumed in it. Although going from one extreme to the other is part of the process of coming to terms with our dualitstic natures, opening a new door to finding our balance. The light does not judge, it reveals what is in the shadows. I have learnt the difference between certainty and knowing (godhead/higherself), and confidence and insecurity (egohead). I found peace in the awareness of finding certainty in my authentic self ~ my higherself, (godhead) and consciously continue to heal the areas within still requiring this shift. We are all a possibility in progress. We begin to comprehend what oneness is when we become one with ourselves. And that most certainly has been a long drawn out process for me.

“There’s no competition when you’re manifesting in your own lane” Anon

The human condition has been programmed to compare and compete against each other with the belief system of not being enough as we are at our core. This is unnatural and separates us. We are all at different stages of our journey so whatever we are experiencing or however we perceive is correct for us individually. However we are all perfectly imperfect as we are, and the Age of Aquarius calls for this competitive shadow side of sacred masculine and patriarchal linear way of thinking and operating to come to an end. That game is over, so we will see some massive spiral shifts collectively. Sacred Masculine energy is linear, Divine Feminine energy is spiral. Divine Feminine/Shakti has reignited after laying suppressed for centuries, with the intention of spiritual awakening in our personal and collective consciousness. Source now calls for us all to face our wounding for healing and learn how to bring balance to both of these aspects within us individually, radically shifting our collective consciousness. I am not here to judge people for where they are at on their journey. I am also not here to pretend or conform to outdated social standards either, especially ones within the industry. I know why I have been called to return to private escorting, and I was also called to wait 4 very long years before I did so.

The Age of Aquarius paves the new way for humanity, hence why global systems are shifting and outdated paradigms are falling. This does present uncertainty in many ways and many of us have been afraid of change. Aquarius has thrown out the Pisces rule book because it is no longer relevant. The light does not take sides, it reveals with the awareness and acceptance that light and dark originate from the same Source. There is no play book anymore, we can no longer rely on ‘how it was’. We all now have the potential to bring Divine and Sacred Light into our lives through loving consciousness; to balance the light and the darkness within, in oneness. We all have the potential to awaken Sacred Masculine and Divine Feminine individually, learning how to heal, transmute transcend and transform the wounded aspect of both within ourselves, we are all meant to. At 41 and as an Aquarius Woman in the Age of Aquarius, I have come into my prime with certainty. What will you choose? What a blessed and joyful time to be alive on this earthly plane.

It has taken me a long time to figure out my place in this industry after my spiritual awakening. For a long time, I felt like there was not a place for me here anymore and the reality is there probably was not. I needed to pave that way for myself and that has taken time, years in fact. With many attempts and failures too I might add. Divine Feminine/Shakti has now shown me it is now time. Through accessing and aligning with my Higherself, I now see clearly how and why my life unfolded as it did, when it did. I have nothing but gratitude for my traumatic journey I agreed to and manifested. The ancient wisdom, knowledge and healing I unlocked from within.

It is still my choice what I do and do not engage with. My personal power (solar plexus chakra), has firm boundaries. I am not afraid of the darkness. Those frequencies do not scare me, nor no longer manipulate me; because I learnt that as I am light, I am also dark. I walk between both worlds because I can, and I have learnt to harness such a powerful gift. 

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too, but there will be no special hurry” Ernest Hemingway

Our soul has suffered many traumas spanned over numerous lifetimes. We carry these as well as inter-generational traumas, holding them in our chakras. Part of our karmic agreement is to heal these past wounds. In order to do this, we must visit each chakra and the karmic lessons they hold. Otherwise our chakras remain blocked or overstimulated, resulting in an imbalance in our individual alchemy, overall well-being, state of mind and behaviour. This is our breading ground for physical ailments and disease. We will also tend to repeat the same cycles continuously, and groundhog day gets tiring and frustrating. To be in alignment is to be at peace within ourselves and one with each other, breaking free from inflated ego illusions and delusions is relieving and creates space for a joyful and meaningful existence.

I wrote all of the content for my website and advertising for my rebranding 3-4 years ago. It has just been sitting there waiting for my personal healing journey, divine timing to unfold and my higher self to guide me when to release for us all to receive. It is so obvious to me that if I had of allowed my ego to take a strong hold, it would have fallen on deaf ears. I already know that cycle well and became tired of doing that to myself. Covid and other things needed to play out before it was time for me to fully take my place on the stage. But it was mainly an internal thing, I wasn’t ready. I still had a lot of self healing required before I could step into the spaces that are reserved for only me. It just wasn’t my turn then. Now is the time. Really profound and emotional moment reading all my writing as I build my website and get ready to advertise. It triggered some stuff so I took the past couple of months shut away from the world with myself doing more intensive healing before I was ready; because I needed to make sure I was in alignment with my writing. Seeing my past self knew exactly why I was here, and had enough humbling grace and trust to wait until the right time unfolded. Perceived loses, perceived setbacks, perceived fails, perceived gains, perceived wins, perceived successes. Every sacrifice, pain, suffering, heart ache, heart break has all been worth it and I wouldn’t change a thing. I am so grateful I had the patience, endurance, determination and insight to wait for this moment to breathe to life. What a journey. The best years of my life are about to unfold in loving service with Divine. As I grasp the intricacy of being a master creator.

All that I AM.

I Become.

© LUMIÈRE NOIRE 2022. All Rights Reserved

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